For Parents

Contact for
B'Nai Mitzvah:

Julie Kaplan
(703) 532-2217, ext.313

Need to fill out a form? Click here to jump to the forms below.

Your family is about to embark on a most significant journey, a year long trip of preparation towards a Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration. This is a wonderful and exciting time in the life of a young adult and your family. We, your clergy, join you in the preparation for this event as well as in the happiness that comes with it.

The ceremony that your child will soon observe symbolizes in Jewish terms the passing of the child from intellectual, emotional and moral childhood into adolescence. As in all other congregations in the world, it signifies the recognition by the young man or woman that he or she becomes responsible to God for his or her moral and religious actions.

The guiding principle of Bar and Bat Mitzvah at Temple Rodef Shalom is that this year of preparation and the simcha itself be full of joy and filled with emotional and intellectual satisfaction and growth for your child and your family. The attainment of this objective is possible only if your child is thoroughly prepared and personally motivated. Young people surely need the help of clergy, teachers and especially parents to achieve this goal. Thus, the observance of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a quintessential opportunity for both child and family to strengthen their commitment and connection to Judaism and our Temple.

Parent Information: (Click on a topic to go to the web page on that topic.)

Clergy Meetings

Contact Us for Information and Appointments

Fees and Other Information

Parents Role on Friday Night and Saturday

Updated COVID Photography and Videography Policy

Rehearsal Schedule

The Student’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah Notebook



Understanding the Aliyah Honors and Grandparent Roles in the Service

What the Year is Like

What Your Child Leads at a Morning Service  /  Mincha Service

Print or Download the entire Parent’s Guide PDF here


Parents need to complete these forms during the B’nai mitzvah year:

(*Before indicates counting backwards from the date of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah)

Deadline Name of Form Click to Complete Form
8 Months Before* 1/2 B’nai Mitzvah Payment Pay Online Send Check
When Tutoring Starts Kol Koreh Hebrew Web Learning Program  Order Program
5 Months Before Photography Rules Open PDF
4 Months Before Sign up to Usher at a Shabbat Service Sign up Here
3 Months Before Service Information Form for Parents to Complete Click to Complete Form
3 Months Before Connection Profile Click to Complete Form
2 Months Before Final B’nai Mitzvah Payment Pay Online Send Check
2 Months Before Catering Details Confirmation*
*for confirmed rentals only
Click to Complete Form
Days Before Service Reminders of What to Bring Open PDF



Dates to Remember

1 Year prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah: Attend our monthly family workshop with your child, where you will receive their binder, Hebrew materials, and you will fill out a tutor assignment survey. You will be notified of the date by the Clergy office.

11-10 Months Prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah: Either Cantor Shochet or Cantor Rhodes will assign your child a tutor, based on your survey. The tutor will be informed of the assignment and will contact you.

10-6 Months Prior to Bar/Bat Mitzvah: Attend social action workshop at 9 months and participate in your cohort’s group mitzvah outing at 8 months. Begin tutoring at 8 months for a morning service and 7 months for an afternoon service. After 4 tutoring lessons (roughly 2 months, schedule a Hebrew check with the clergy.

5-4 Months Prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah: Schedule a second Hebrew check with the clergy.

2 Months Prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah: Schedule a third Hebrew check with the clergy and a first meeting with Rabbi Saxe or Rabbi Bernstein to begin the speech writing process.

1 Month Prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah: All Hebrew prayers, Torah portion and Haftarah should be completed.

Wednesday Before First Bimah Rehearsal: Meet with Rabbi Schwartzman and partner for an informal discussion meeting.

First Bimah Rehearsal with Cantor: Tuesday, 11-days prior to your service, if the service is a morning service. OR Thursday, 9-days prior to your service, if the case of an afternoon service. These rehearsals take place at 3 pm, and last one hour.

Final Bimah Rehearsal with Rabbi: Tuesday, 4-days prior to your service, if the service is a morning service. OR Thursday, 2-days prior to your service, if the case of an afternoon service. These rehearsals take place at 4 pm, and last one hour. Photography is allowed at this rehearsal.

BAR/BAT Mitzvah service times:
Saturday Morning: 10:30 am; Saturday Afternoon: 5 pm

Social Hall Rental Information:

Please visit the B’nai Mitzvah Rentals page for more information.