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Mediation at TRS
MEDIATION/CONFLICT RESOLUTION
PROGRAM AT TEMPLE RODEF SHALOM
Ohev shalom v’rodef
shalom. Loving peace and pursuing peace.
Everyday
Conflict
Each of us has conflicts in our everyday
life. An argument with a co-worker, a disagreement with a loved one, a dispute
with a neighbor, a verbal altercation with someone with whom we are doing
business and other difficult situations. How each of us handles the conflicts
in our life has a significant impact on our happiness, success
and well-being. Conflict can drain our emotional, spiritual and financial
resources. Most of us simply dread conflict.
Many of us have felt like we “lost” due to the outcome of a conflict. What
steps can each of us take to resolve these conflicts
and build stronger relationships? Jewish tradition is rich in conflict
resolution strategies and techniques, one of which is mediation. Temple Rodef
Shalom offers a Mediation/Conflict Resolution Program to assist anyone in the
TRS community in resolving certain disputes.
What
is Mediation?
Mediation is a voluntary dispute resolution process designed to
bring people in conflict together in a face-to-face meeting to work out
solutions to their differences. It is based on voluntary and good faith
cooperation and participation by the parties. The meeting is facilitated by a
team of two specially trained, neutral third-parties called "mediators." The
mediators help the parties communicate and understand their concerns and needs,
identify and consider possible solutions, and reach mutual agreement. The
mediators do not act as judges or arbitrators, have no decision-making
authority, do not decide what is right or wrong and do not take sides.
What
Kinds of Disputes are Appropriate for the TRS Mediation Program?
- Disagreements between individual
members of the TRS community
- Disputes between members of the
TRS community and the Temple staff
- Employment disputes at the Temple
- Neighborhood disputes involving
TRS or its members
- Family disputes relating to
members of the TRS community (not divorces)
- Disputes relating to life cycle
events of members of the TRS community
- Religious school based issues
Who
are the Mediators?
The TRS mediators
are volunteers who have successfully completed, at a minimum, a 20-hour mediator
training program that includes mediation techniques, communication, negotiation,
and conciliation skills. Mediators are trained to
be impartial. Prior to the mediation, the mediators are provided only with a
brief summary of the situation to be discussed and with the names of the
participants. Mediators are not assigned to a case if they know the
participants personally or if they have any stake in the outcome of the
mediation.
The
Role of the Clergy
The TRS clergy may refer
participants to mediation, but it will be the decision of the participants
whether to pursue this option. Mediation, as described below, is an
entirely confidential process, and therefore, even if a case is referred by
one of our clergy, the mediators will not report back to the clergy in any
way unless requested and agreed to by all participants. The clergy is, of
course, available if requested by the participants, to provide insights
concerning how Jewish thought might assist in resolving the situation.
The
Advantages of Mediation
Mediation is a
much less formal process than arbitration or litigation. A typical
mediation session lasts two hours and most issues are resolved in one
session. Sessions are scheduled at a time and location convenient to all
parties. Because the parties are directly responsible for developing the
terms of an agreement, they are more likely to keep the agreement. In
general, mediation participants reach agreements about 80% of the time, and
keep those agreements about 90% of the time. Even if a written agreement is
not reached, parties may lay groundwork for future agreements by opening
lines of communication. Also, mediation is private and confidential. All
communications and documents, including work notes made or used during a
mediation session are confidential. The participants will be asked to
agree, in writing, that the mediators cannot be required and will not be
asked by the participants to testify about what was said or written in
mediation, if the issue ends up in court.
A successful mediation process can
help parties to:
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Improve communications.
-
Define issues and
concerns.
-
Clarify viewpoints.
-
Generate options and
alternatives for resolving problems.
-
Reduce the time and cost
associated with resolving disputes.
-
Reach general
understandings.
-
Improve relationships.
-
Develop a settlement
agreement that:
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is practical, realistic,
and workable to implement
-
meets the needs of all
parties.
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is durable over time
-
Memorializes
the work of the parties.
What
happens if the parties cannot reach an agreement?
If an agreement cannot be reached, generally the parties still
have the same options available to them that existed before the mediation. When
the parties agree to mediate, they understand that the information exchanged is
confidential and will not be used in any legal proceedings on the matter.
Is
Mediation Binding?
The mediated
agreement is a contract between the two parties and is as binding as any other
similar contract.
How
to Access the Mediation/Conflict Resolution Program at Rodef Shalom.
Any member or staff member of Temple Rodef Shalom may request
mediation services by calling the TRS office at (703) 532-2217 or emailing the
Mediation Program at
mediation@TempleRodefShalom.org.
Mediation is a confidential and voluntary process. Both parties
must agree to mediate. When one person initiates the process, the Program will
notify the other party by email or by phone, explain that mediation has been
requested, and determine if that party is willing to participate in mediation.
Download the
roster of mediators
here
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